5 FASHION TRENDS THAT NEED TO END

LIFESTYLE

Let me start off by saying that terrible fashion trends are a fundamental part of society. They keep things interesting. Who actually wants to look back at pictures of themselves 10 years from now and say “Oh wow, that outfit is so great, I would totally wear that again right now”? Literally no one. That’s boring. Fashion faux-pas deserve their due credit and time in the limelight. That being said, it's time for these *lewks* to take a long walk off a short runway. 

Tiny Sunglasses

Where are you going with those things? A party for ants? Do they even fully cover your cornea? There’s no way they are ophthalmologist recommended. Please don’t go out in actual sunlight wearing those.

Straw Bags

Unless it's filled with a bottle of wine and a charcuterie board, put that poor excuse for a picnic basket back in the closet. How have you not gotten a splinter from that fancy hay bale you call a purse? 

Parachute Pants

Because it wasn't bad enough when parachute pants were popular in the '90s, we now have to be subjected to these monstrosities for a second time in our generation. Let's take a quick look at the statistical data.

Pros

• Enough room for a litter of puppies to sleep comfortably

Cons

• Look like a drug dealer

• People can hear you approach from at least 3 miles away

• Guaranteed absence of being asked out

• May be mistaken for an actual garbage bag

Clear Heels

The only people who should appreciate translucent clothing is the TSA. Unless you're attending a Zenon Girl of The Twenty First Century / Jetsons / futuristic galactic themed party, ditch the plastic in the waste-basket. 

Cargo or Khaki Anything  

If you're not Jake from State Farm, take the khakis off. Did you know that khaki means “soil" or "dust" in Urdu? See, even etymology thinks they're gross.